Thursday, March 12, 2009
De Nile Ain't Just A River Baby
For the past couple of months, I've been living in De Nile. I am in denial that this is actually where I am going to be living for the next 20 to 40 years, or at least until Matt retires, which at that time, we are moving to The Villages for free golf for life. But, denial can be a crippling thing. Day after day, I limp along in life waiting for something to change. I am waiting to start my life, but I don't know on what I am waiting. I make excuses for myself. I am waiting on warm weather or I am waiting until we buy a house or I am waiting on kids sports to start or I am waiting until I lose 5 pounds or I am waiting on a good hair day. Some of these things have happened and some have not, but either way, it has not changed my daily rountine of life enveloped in nothingness. But, this is not new for me. Waiting for the next big thing has generally been my issue ever since I can remember. I am the world's worst procrastinator. Everything will be done tomorrow. I waste my days and spend most nights watching T.V. until I fall into a coma. Megan Kelley and Bill Hemmer on Fox News are my best friends. We get together every morning from 8-10 and discuss the issues of the failed Obama administration. They actually do most of the talking, but I enjoy listening. My favorite part is the "Earmark of the Day". They really crack me up. Now I know that may sound lame, but I also have my virtual friends on FB. I get to read about them daily, and I let them know what I'm up to--watching TV, sitting, staring, etc. It's quite the social life I have going on here. As great as it is, I guess I am realizing that this is no way to live FOR THE NEXT FEW DECADES. So today I started doing those things that I was going to do tomorrow. I made doctor, dentist, orthodontist, and hair appointments for the girls. OK, I know it's a small step, but at least it's a step. I am also posting on my blog! YEAH ME! Blog posting is like taking a big dump. You just feel better after it's done. And to keep moving forward, I am joining the local gym--if not for working out, for the social aspect of actually getting out of this cardboard box I live in and seeing other human life during the day. I'll let you know how that goes in a subsequent post. I know many of my old friends told me to take advantage of not having any obligations or places to be. They suggested "NO Commitments for Six Months!" Apparently these people have never actually tried it themselves. It's quite an empty and self-absorbed existence. Even I (who loves me) can have too much me time. It's time to face reality, let go of the denial, and start living my new life here.